We often think of February, the “Universal Month of Love,” as a perfect time to give and receive love. But not everyone has had the opportunity to give or receive love in a healthy, safe way.
A young man from a tough family situation once confessed it was hard for him to say or hear the word “love” because it meant he was going to be hurt. The people in his life said they loved him but then continued to harm him. So, he avoided giving or receiving love to avoid being hurt. As Support Teams for foster/adoptive/kinship families, we have a great opportunity to understand what makes the individual in these families feel loved and safe. Not everyone interprets love the same way, so thinking about what “love language” the other person speaks is a helpful place to begin.
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Happy New Year! Now, as you look forward into 2022, is a wonderful time to consider how you will support the foster and adoptive families in your life. Could you try one new thing this year to reach out and love the family you support? You could:
For Pastor Brendan and his wife, Nastashia, foster care and adoption was never an if, they just didn’t know the when. Parents to seven children, with all seven still living at home, Brendan shared that he and his wife take what the book of James says seriously, “We all have opportunity to participate.”
Nastashia is a nurturer and believes it is an honor to love and provide a child with a safe place to grow. Brendan agrees, adding that serving the least of these, helping a community member in need, is a way to share Christ’s love. In 2018, the couple began to pray together about fostering. Soon, Nastashia began to prod, ready to move forward, but Brendan wanted to wait until he settled into his role as a pastor. In 2020, both were ready to move forward, and they attended a Project 1.27 Info Night and then pre-certification training. Going through virtual pre-certification training was a blessing, as Brendan pastors a church in a remote mountain community, far from the Denver area. Support Team members have new opportunities to provide support to foster families by becoming Alternative Care Providers. Alternative Care Providers, also called Natural Support Providers, can provide up to 72 consecutive hours of care, with a maximum of 7 days care each month. What could this mean to a family? Easier access to respite care for the child with people they know and trust!
ECHOflex is a collaborative program led by Project 1.27’s Sharon Bouse-Ferry. After piloting ECHOflex to address the mental health needs of kinship, foster and adoptive families in Mesa County, Project 1.27 plans to implement the program in other Colorado counties. Dr. Terri Chase, MA, ND, RN at Colorado Mesa University, leads her nursing students in creating and delivering fun learning experiences designed to help families explore and implement tools for better mental health. Sharon Raggio and Amy Gallagher from Mind Springs Mental Health are working on future learning experiences and assessment tools. Kimberly Raff, Executive Director of Foster Alumni Mentors, an organization that mentors foster care alumni, and Project 1.27’s Lisa McGinnett are also providing input. Local churches are offering freezer meals to make attendance easier for families and, when the program moves to in-person, will provide space and volunteers. Rocky Mountain Health Foundation, Western Colorado Community Foundation donors and St. Mary’s Foundation have all provided funding for the launch.
For more information, check out the pilot website at https://www.echoflextoolkit.org or email [email protected]. If you’re interested in supporting ECHOflex, you can donate at project127.org/donate. Back to school is a busy time of year for families and it can be difficult to get back into the rhythm of a constantly moving routine. Children in foster care often must overcome the additional barriers of entering a new school while living in an unfamiliar home, school and community. This can cause anxiety, sadness and fear, often creating extra trauma and chaos that needs to be navigated.
One tool that can be helpful is to create a quiet space for the child to enjoy. A designated area set aside in the home allows a child space to refresh mind and body, which is especially important for children who have sensory needs, mental health needs or no longer nap. A quiet space provides a break from stimulation and teaches the child a new coping mechanism in managing stress and other big feelings. Below are some ideas for creating this valuable tool. If you are supporting a foster family through the back-to-school season, consider planning and establishing areas in both of your homes!
Not everyone can foster, but everyone can do something. The most important “something” you can do as a support person, and a sure way to stay in rhythm with the Father’s call on your own heart, is to keep the first things first and PRAY.
Your foster or adoptive family needs to be blanketed in constant prayer. They need prayer warriors, lifting them up day and night, petitioning our Father in Heaven for known and unknown needs. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. – Ephesians 6:18 Below are four ideas to help you keep the first things first and PRAY for your family: ![]()
Children entering foster care frequently have questions about why they're in foster care, what foster care is and what it means to live in foster care. The book, Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care, by Jennifer Wilgocki and Marcia Kahn Wright, helps answer those questions.
Maybe Days is recommended for children up to age 12 and can be adjusted to be developmentally and situationally appropriate. The book encourages connection and gives children permission to talk about confusing events they are experiencing and the questions they have. Consider reading this book during the day (instead of before bed) and then plan something fun to do with the child afterward to build trust and allow time for conversations around the thoughts and feelings the child may have after reading the story. Four reasons this book is recommended (from a Youtube review by The Early Childhood Therapist): Unique Ways to Bless Foster Families
Sometimes it can be hard to identify ways to bless a foster family as they navigate their journey through foster care. From the outside looking in, it may be difficult to understand the day-to-day needs or to know what would be helpful. In addition to re-visiting your Support Team Roster, below are some unique suggestions to show appreciation and support. Pick an idea or resource you can offer and follow through. When support team members continue checking in and offering help, it provides parents with the relief and energy they need to keep providing high quality care to children. Host a virtual card drive: Is your family encouraged by words of affirmation? Consider rallying support team members to e-mail, text or mail encouraging notes to your family. Remind your family that they are doing good work and are supported by their network. Give a gas card: Foster families transport children to many weekly appointments, some a significant distance from home. A gas card can go a long way in helping ease the expense of travel. ![]() One of Jon’s favorite things about being a foster dad is when siblings Ju-Ju, 2 and Mouse, 1 first wake up in the morning and come to him, smiling, with arms raised high, saying, “Up, up!” Ju-Ju and Mouse haven’t always trusted Jon, or any adult, enough to ask this question. It took several months of patience and play time on the floor before either child was comfortable enough to talk or receive touch. Both children entered foster care because of significant trauma before Jon and his wife Aydrian welcomed the young siblings into their home. Jon and Aydrian, both first responders, have a blended family with five children, ages 8 to 30 years. They are looking forward to welcoming their first grandchild in August. For the couple’s upcoming eleventh anniversary, they are planning to hike the Manitou Incline and enjoy breakfast together. With eight-year-old daughter, Care Bear, Ju-Ju and Mouse wanting his attention after work, Jon gets up early each morning to train for a Half Iron Man in September. |
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