Nearly half of the children who are fostered and adopted are placed with families whose cultures or races are different from their own. When families open their homes and hearts to children within the foster care system, foster families need to learn and practice cultural competency. Culture is a set of beliefs, attitudes, values, and behavior standards passed down from one generation to the next. Culture defines what is natural and expected in a given group; it includes language, food, dress, styles of communication, and child-rearing patterns. Recognizing and adjusting to different expectations when children are placed in your home is extremely important when a child comes from a different cultural background. It means recognizing and welcoming diversity, challenging your point of view, and handling discomfort when challenged with new ways of thinking. Often, children of color in racially and culturally diverse families have difficulty defining their own cultural and racial identities. It's important for foster/adoptive families to have open discussions within their home about race; with a lack of communication surrounding race, a child could feel the family doesn't see their race. My son needed access to others who may look like him, to be involved in cultural events, and to have others within our lives with whom he could identify through his Hispanic heritage. My best friend is Hispanic, and one of my supervisors at the time was Hispanic, and we had frequent social contact with both. We frequented Mexican restaurants and celebrated Cinco De Mayo; he participated as a dancer in several Quinceaneras. His school was very diverse, not only with students and teachers that looked like him, but like his mom and paternal family. He used 'Blaxican' on social media as his name, confirming he was finding and learning his way by exposure to both sides of his heritage. As I was listening to a podcast regarding Culturally Competent Care, what stood out to me was hearing young adults of multiple races, who grew up in the foster care system report their foster parents did not provide culturally affirming care. A young black woman reported not being taught essential hair care management. The young adults also noted they didn't have access to adults, teachers, or mentors who looked like them. They reported feeling the families did not accept them for their true selves. They didn't ask questions about their families, culture, or likes and dislikes. They were expected to join this family and fit into the family's current cultural environment. Race is ultimately a part of who that child is; while accepting the child, you must acknowledge and talk about their race. Children may believe that others only see and understand a part of them and their experience. While foster/adoptive families may discuss not seeing color or race, the world is seeing their race. Communication is key in caring for any child, and it's imperative for a child from a different race. Ask questions not only with the child placed in your home but also with the child's case worker, previous caretaker, biological parents, or extended family. As you provide foster care and your home becomes a racially and culturally diverse environment, here are questions for the child placed in your home or their extended family and additional thoughts and ideas to examine in becoming a culturally competent home. Some questions to consider: How does your family celebrate birthdays? Who gets invited, what games are played, and what are the music and food preferences? Are there any cultural or religious rituals centered around birthdays? What is the importance of church or religion in your family? Does the family attend church regularly? What religious holidays do they observe? Are there certain foods that are off-limits due to religious beliefs? What are ways we can care for your hair? Does the child know how to care for their hair, or do they have particular people who have helped care for their hair (hair stylists, barbers, braiders, relatives)? Consider learning basic hair care yourself. What does your social circle look like? Can you find activities, centers or groups with others who racially fit with the child? Children need to have relationships with others who look like them. By Marilyn Robinson, Family Care Director Adapted from: Cultural Best Practices in Foster Care C. Kimo Alameda, Ph.D. National Training andDevelopment Curriculum - Parenting in racially and culturally diverse families
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1996. A small church in the small town of Possum Trot, Texas.
It was unusual for the first lady of Bennet Chapel, Donna Martin, to even think about going to a foster care information meeting in a distant town, but as Donna was praying, she sensed God’s direction to open her home to children in foster care. After attending the meeting, Donna and her husband, Reverend Martin, became foster parents and inspired 22 Bennet Chapel families to adopt 75 of the hardest to place children. My husband and I were foster parents in California back then. This wasn’t a time when James 1:27 and caring for kids in foster care was a familiar sermon topic. I remember being told one of my foster daughters couldn’t be in my Bible Study’s childcare program. It was only for my real children! The film, Sound of Hope, The Story of Possum Trot tells a story of what can happen when the church steps forward to meet the needs of vulnerable children and the families that care for those children. CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE TRAILER Several things I appreciated about Sound of Hope-
Today, there are over 4,000 children in Colorado foster care. Almost 400 are waiting for an adoptive family. Just like in Possum Trot, there are also not enough foster or adoptive families available to care for these children, especially older children and teens, sibling sets and children who have experienced significant trauma. There is a need for churches like Bennet Chapel to step forward and care for these children. What can you do today?
By Shelly Radic, Executive Director May is National Foster Care Month. This month at Project 1.27, we are praying for all the people like you who put the “care" in foster care. In Colorado we need more families to foster and more people to care for foster families. So, join us in praying for more than enough families to take the first step toward fostering and for hearts to be stirred and encouraged to care for kids.
Care looks like a single kinship grandmother who lost her job because she missed work when her one-year-old grandson was in the hospital with pneumonia. Grandma joined an ECHOflex group, connecting with other families for encouragement and support. Care looks a young couple welcoming toddler twins just weeks after completing their foster parent training. Care looks like a Project 1.27 Neighbor dropping off monthly meals to a foster family reminding the family they're not alone. Care looks like volunteers responding to a CarePortal request from a biological family working toward reunification by providing furniture and household items to prepare Dad's apartment before the kids return home. During National Foster Care Month, we encourage you to pray - · For how you can care · For children experiencing foster care · For more than enough foster families · For more than enough volunteers to care for kids and families Share this information to your church and community, encouraging more people to put the care in foster care. Kids need families. Families need YOU. By Sharon Bouse-Ferry, ECHOflex Director It’s May! That means families are preparing for summer break. Many families have a love/hate relationship with summer break, and foster families are no different. Transitions like school breaks and holidays can be very stressful for children who have experienced the trauma of being removed from the care of their biological family and sometimes experience multiple transitions in multiple foster homes. If it’s stressful for the kids, chances are it’s stressful for the parents!
This month, we encourage you, as a support team, to think about ways you can help reduce the stress of the foster parents you care for. What are ways that you practice stress relief? What do you know about your foster parents that could help you encourage their “self-care”? Is your foster parent a dog lover? A new dog toy or leash might encourage playtime with their four-legged friend. Is your foster parent a bookworm? Maybe a gift card to a local bookstore or a mini reading light that attaches to the book they’re reading would encourage those after-hours moments when they’ve finally turned all the other lights out and the kids are in bed. Is your foster parent in need of pampering? A gift certificate for a mani/pedi or a DIY pampering kit with a bath scrub, a new loofa, and a candle would encourage solitude and care. Whatever you do, do something to remind your foster parent that you see them and care about them. They can’t pour from an empty cup, so remind them this month to fill their cup by doing the little things that help them relieve and manage stress. For more ideas about ways you might support your foster family this month, or for a tip sheet you might consider sharing with your foster family, check out Project 1.27’s “Nifty Ways To Refresh”: https://www.project127.org/uploads/1/1/6/9/116938503/nifty-fifty-ways-to-self-refresh.pdf By Sharon Bouse-Ferry, ECHOflex Director Last month, Timberline Church held its annual Orphan Care Weekend. During that weekend, Pastor John Mehl said something that, I believe, can transform any local church. In talking about The Hope for the Journey Conference, he hopes his church can improve by 5%. He doesn't keep coming each year and inviting more and more of his volunteers because he wants everything to change drastically and change immediately. He said, "If we can just be 5% better this year than last year, that will make the biggest difference over time."
The temptation is to look at what everyone else is doing and try to keep up with them. Jesus did not go for perfection. He did not expect his disciples to develop at the same pace. Some got it faster than others, and one did not ever get it. Jesus went with a strategy of slight improvement over time. His disciples did not cast out all the demons and heal everyone on the first try. They did not always say everything perfectly and represent him in the best way. We see small improvements over time when we read through the Gospels and Acts. Jesus built on those small improvements, and the world changed. Maybe you are looking at adding a ministry to your church. Are you doing it because you believe God is leading you in that direction, or are you doing it because ABC Church down the street is doing it? It is easy to fall into the competition game where our comparisons select winners. That church has 3% of its members involved in foster care. If we want to be able to say we are being successful, we need to be at least at 10%. This church has trained 30% of its children and youth volunteers and trauma-informed staff. We need all of our volunteers and staff trained. When we get stuck in that cycle of thinking, we often become overwhelmed and don't do anything. We don't feel like we can do the big thing, so we don't do anything at all. Here is an example of what 5% thinking looks like compared to "Big equals success" thinking. Maybe 10% of your adults are connected to a small group. Because you value small groups, you start with a goal like "85% of our adults will participate in a small group. Yes, that is what we would love to see." We know the groups are valuable and will help people grow in their discipleship journey. The problem is how do you jump 75%. When it doesn't happen, we start looking for problems, excuses, and scapegoats. Is it the pastor in charge of small groups fault? "Maybe we have the wrong curriculum. ABC Church used XYZ's material, and its numbers skyrocketed." We start thinking, "This isn't working. Maybe we need to change our focus and not worry about groups." Compare that to the 5% better focus. Think about how different that scenario would be if we said, "We are happy that 10% of our adults are part of small groups. That is a great starting point for us. Our goal this year is for 15% of adults to participate in a small group in a meaningful way." There is a healthy recognition of where we currently are. Our goal is independent of what anyone else is doing. When we accomplish the goal, we are experiencing growth in that area and quality growth. Five percent improvement, repeated over time, will always bring about more positive change than doing a lot of the wrong thing or nothing. By Brandon Alverson, FamiliesCare Manager in Weld County If you're like me, you've had people ask about your foster/adoptive child. Why are they living with you? What happened to their parents? Are their parents drug addicts? Once, an older woman in the church asked me why anyone would want to raise someone else's child. One of the most outrageous interactions was with someone who was determined to identify my son's father based on his skin color and features.
Unfortunately, there are people who are naturally nosey, frequently cross boundaries, and have their own opinions, which they're quick to share. People know boundaries regarding personal information such as income, family dynamics, and possibly even race. Still, they feel it's okay to ask personal questions about foster care or adoption. As we know, children in foster care have experienced multiple levels of trauma before even entering foster care. There may be information they aren't aware of or are too young to know. Family circumstances of a child entering foster care are held with great regard; holding that personal information close to your heart is essential. When people ask insensitive questions about foster care or adoption, parents can experience a range of emotions, from feeling sad, angry, or completely caught off guard. As you're feeling those emotions, think about the child who has come to live with you and is likely feeling the same way. They may believe that they are in care for something they have done, and they may feel confused or embarrassed. They're already struggling with grief and loss and understandably have questions of their own, and then for strangers to start asking questions can be overwhelming. Often, you or your children are caught off guard by the questions and astonished at how others feel entitled to information about your life or your child's. Just know it's okay to set your boundaries as a family. Here is an option that may help in your boundary settings. W.I.S.E The response listed below gives children and adults four possible options for responding and provides families the power to control the situation - W=WALK AWAY or ignore what is being said.** I = IT'S PRIVATE I do not have to share information with anyone, and I can say that, even to adults (respectfully.) S=SHARE SOMETHING about my foster care or adoption story, but I can think carefully about what I want to let others know. E=EDUCATE OTHERS about foster care or adoption in general. Know a lot about it. ** (If a child is being bullied, it is recommended that they Walk away with an 'attitude' by saying, "Whatever."; "Who cares." This is said to discourage further victimization.) Empowering Children and Parents to Cope with questions/comments about Foster Care and Adoption - Ellen Singer - LCSW By Marilyn Robinson, Family Care Director Churches, are you preparing for summer VBS or Sports Camps? Or a Middle or High School retreat? We have two opportunities to help you as you prepare for your summer kids’ and youth ministries! We would love to provide Trauma Informed Training and an idea for a Project 1.27 Service Project.
We can all agree that “children are valuable image-bearers of God and deserve to be cared for in a way that their brand and body can receive.” We all want to put this into practice with each child we come in contact with, but do we have the tools to do so? I know that before becoming a foster parent and being introduced to the effects of trauma on a developing brain, I didn’t realize that these children may need to be cared for in different ways - ways that instill in them that they ARE made in the image of God. To understand how to better connect with children who have experienced trauma, you first need to understand it. Trauma is an event that poses a real or perceived threat to their life or well-being or to someone they love. Traumatic stress is a situation that overwhelms a child’s ability to cope. I am sure we have all experienced a child in Sunday School or VBS that seems to fit this description - that child who doesn’t respond to everything in your “toolbox” to care for kids. We would love to provide you and your volunteers with free, on-site trauma-informed training to help you meet the needs of your volunteers and children. This training is only 1 ½ hours and will give a little background on trauma and how it can affect children, and we will end with a Toolbox of strategies to help a child who may be struggling in a classroom or group. Another opportunity for more in-depth trauma-informed training is to attend our Hope For The Journey on May 4th. This one-day conference focused on TBRI training is suitable for any parent or volunteer desiring to make a deeper connection with a child who has experienced trauma. It is also perfect for any ministry leader who works with children. To register, click here. Do you need a service project idea for your VBS or summer Sunday School? Here is an idea from Brave Church in Englewood. They are spotlighting Project 1.27 at their VBS this summer and will collect money and fun toys that we will give to our foster families in a Summer Survival Basket! They will collect things like sidewalk chalk, bubbles, jump ropes, balls - anything a child would love to play with outside! Preparing these baskets is a super easy way to engage children and give them a heart for caring for others at an early age. If you are interested in either of these opportunities, please get in touch with Kym Schnittker at [email protected] or 720-690-5037. At Project 1.27, we want to serve you and your staff by equipping you to meet the needs of children. By Kym Schnittker, Metro Relationships and Support Manager and FamiliesCare Manager for Arapahoe County April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and Project 1.27 is joining the pinwheel campaign along with hundreds of other organizations, churches, and government agencies to plant or display pinwheels in remembrance of abused and neglected children.
In 2008, Prevent Child Abuse America introduced the pinwheel as the new national symbol for child abuse prevention through Pinwheels for Prevention®. Research has shown that people respond to the pinwheel. By its very nature, the blue pinwheel signifies whimsy and childlike notions. Planting a pinwheel represents the bright childhoods we all want for children (Prevent Child Abuse America). The Pinwheels for Prevention® campaign allows individuals and organizations to learn more about prevention, support children and families, and volunteer for “family strengthening” programs. Child abuse is a community concern, and it takes a community to work together to help families thrive and prevent child abuse and neglect. During April and throughout the year, communities are encouraged to increase awareness about child and family well-being and work together to implement helpful strategies that support families and prevent child abuse and neglect. Project 1.27’s vision is “every child in a nurturing, well-supported family.” Our programs provide encouragement, support, and relationships to strengthen families and promote positive childhood experiences. Promoting positive family relationships helps build safe and nurturing homes for children. Support and Relationships are the heart of Project 1.27. How can you help? You can volunteer for one of the programs at Project 1.27, bring a meal to a struggling family, or volunteer with other agencies working to prevent child abuse and neglect. You can purchase a pinwheel or pinwheels and display them in your yard, church, or school, in the background of your virtual meetings, or share pinwheels on social media to promote positive families and raise awareness of child abuse prevention. Every year in April, we recognize the importance of families and communities working together to support family well-being and prevent child maltreatment. Please join us in praying for the well-being of children and families in our communities . Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from Him.(NLT) Psalms 127:3 By Bobbi Kline, Grants Manager In 2020, my husband and I fell into foster care as a kinship placement. Together with our three biological children, we fell in love with four-month-old "Little Miss" and loved on her for over a year. As a first-time foster family, we got a crash course on the system, on being trauma-informed, and on navigating virtual visits with an infant during Covid. And I'll be honest, I was judgey. I remember thinking, "Why can't her parents just get it together?". I recall the frustration and anger I felt when they would not show for a visit or use the little time they had to criticize me or argue with the caseworker. I subscribed to the narrative that this young mama was unfit to be a mother and looked for evidence to back up my claim. Our community was incredible as we upended our lives for Little Miss. We had meal drop-offs, childcare offers, and help to transport our older kids. We had the emotional support of friends who let us vent and offered up words of affirmation. "Clearly, everyone will see we are the most beneficial place for Little Miss," I thought. "Look at how we juggle all the things," "Look at how safe she is, "and "She's thriving." I am ashamed to admit some of these thoughts now. How was I freely giving my love, time, and prayers to Little Miss, but I couldn't extend that to her parents? Is the whole family not deserving of the love, care, and compassion that Jesus so freely shares with us? Little Miss eventually went home to her mama (after mama jumped through hoop after hoop to show she was fit). Reunification was painful. Little Miss had barely seen her mama without a mask on her face or through a video screen. She went from being fully bonded with us into a new environment where she once again needed to learn to safely attach. Her mama worked hard, too. We wanted to celebrate reunification, but saying goodbye was very difficult. Years later, I ask myself, "What if this all could have been avoided?" While our village showed up in tangible ways, making it possible for us to maintain a healthy family, what could have changed if Little Miss and her mama had that village? What if we had a healthy support system for every struggling family affected by child welfare? What if God wants to use relationships to heal the child welfare system? We have fostered multiple children since Little Miss and have come to a deeper understanding of how trauma impacts the whole family. We believe the only tool effective in long-lasting change is relationships. I honestly didn't empathize or understand the effects of generational trauma, how poverty looks and shapes families, or how it can be confused with neglect. I didn't see how a system set up to keep our kids safe could also do harm and create divides in our relationships and our community. The families of children in foster care are often carrying the burden of mental health struggles, poverty, addiction, and loneliness, to name a few. Many are struggling with a lack of resources to meet their essential needs, like housing, medical care, and childcare. Most have no built-in positive support, and there is no village around them of family and friends to help them navigate this. I now work in family preservation as the FamiliesCare manager in my community. I help families stay safely together by connecting them to a well-trained church group. We prioritize relationships, are trauma-aware, honor a family's strengths and dignity, and draw upon the unconditional love of God for all family members. We know trauma is healed through relationships. What if we can impact whole families just by showing up and being a safe space? I pray God will continue to use relationships to affect change with family preservation and to use the church to step into the gap for whole families. While this ministry is new, it promises to change entire communities. I pray for all the "Littles" and their families in the child welfare system. If your church wants to know more about stepping into the gap, loving on a struggling family, and keeping kids safe, I'd love to connect with you. By Emily Kempton, FamiliesCare Manager Mesa County [email protected] Project 1.27 helps churches and families in Colorado serve children through faith-based family preservation, kinship care, foster care & adoption since 2004. The church is called to preach the Gospel and make disciples. As a pastor, I had to ask myself, “How do those two things go together?” As a FamiliesCare Manager, I regularly meet with pastors, and this is often a question that comes up in our conversations. So, how does serving families and children make disciples and spread the good news of Jesus Christ?
First, when we serve families and children, we demonstrate the Gospel to the people we serve and those around us. The Gospel that Jesus preached while on earth is “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” (Mark 1.15). In God’s kingdom, the least is the greatest, the last is the first, and the leader is the servant. It is backward compared to what the world offers. When the disciples tried to keep the children away Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). So if the Gospel is the kingdom of God is near and that kingdom belongs to children, the question we have to ask, as the church, is “are the things we are doing, the things we are investing time, energy and money into, are they helping or hindering the children experience the kingdom of God?”` Serving children who are at risk of being removed from their home or children who have experienced removal gives a glimpse into the kingdom where Jesus will ultimately restore all things. Serving children and families is a great way to make disciples. “A disciple is someone who is learning to live with Jesus and love others like Jesus.” (The Discipleship Gospel Workbook) Jesus demonstrated one of the ways to love people is by serving them. One pastor recently told me, “We want to get out and make a difference in our community; we just don’t know where to start.” Now, this pastor and a group from their church are trained to walk alongside families with children at risk of out-of-home placement. Along with learning the how-to’s of serving as a FamiliesCare team, in their training, they learned about the innate value that all humans have because they are created in God’s image. They knew that past trauma, theirs and the people they serve, does not have to determine their future. God wants to restore and heal our wounds. They learned practical skills in sharing what Jesus has done in their lives within the context of a relationship. Serving families and children is not something we do in addition to preaching and discipling. It is not in conflict with preaching the Gospel and making disciples. It is actually a great place to start. By Brandon Alverson, FamiliesCare Manager Weld County |
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